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but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

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(no subject) [Feb. 25th, 2004|03:00 pm]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Bloodhound Gang - Kiss me where it smells funny]

Everyone knows about my insane love for the BloodHound gang... and we're not talkin about "Bad Touch" although that song is funny..... but this song is one of my faves.... =D It's a personal philosophy...

"You're pretty when I'm drunk"

One Night Me And The Crew Hit The Road On A Mission
To Slurp Free Brew And Go Fuzzy Flounder Fishin'
Kayjees On The Hi-Fi And The Keg Was Bottomless
Until We Brought Skip O' Pot2mus
And Daddy's Gonna Get Some Probably Underage And Dumb
And Everybody Knows That The Daddy Eats His Young
Lupus In The Lavatory Making A Big Stink
Macing Up The Toilet Seat And Pooping In The Sink
M.S.G.¹S Tanked Up And Wizzin' In A Cup
Waiting For A Sprinkle Genie To Come And Drink It Up
Cause I'm The One Bottle Willy With The 12 Horse Ale
After That I Get Silly Like Soupy Sales
Now It's Midnight And I'm Completely Boofy Blitzed
A Six Of Shlitz And The Jew Brew Manischewitz
With My Beer-Tinted Glasses I'm Ready To Bitty Battle
I'm Hungry Like The Wolf But I'll End Up Tending Cattle
Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk)
(And I'm Pretty Fuckin' Drunk)
Here She Comes, A Funky Fried Cutie
Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali Is Gonna Get Some Booty
Cause I'm Mr. Mcfeelie With A Speedy Delivery
You'd Think I Was A Ditch The Way This Chick Was Diggin' Me
But Maybe I Should Check And See If This Is Where I Wanna Be
Hey Lupus Is She Cute? Yea For A Pygmie
Aw! What Do You Know? You're Probably Going Home Alone
And It Wouldn't Be The First Time That I Gave A Dog A Bone
Plus Beauty, It's Only Skin Deep
It's In The Eye Of The Beholder And My Beholder's About To Tweak
I Could Tap That Barrel, In Fact I Know I Can
It's A Ménagé A Trois You And Me And Heineken

Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk) [X4]

Regrets I've Had A Few
First And Foremost I'd Like To Mention You
For The Sake Of Conversation We'll Call You The Brand New Heavy
Your A Mix Between An Ugnaut And Eugene Levy
You Can Call It Big-Boned, I Prefer To Call It Gut
Your Buddha Your Shamu Your Jabba The Fuckin' Hutt
You Had Harpoon Scars And Your Boobies Were Hairy
I Smelt Tuna Melt But I Wasn¹T Gonna Worry
It Was 3 A.M. And I Wasn't Gettin' Squat
So I Rolled You Up In Flour And Aimed It For The Wet Spot
I Was Buttering Rolls Like A Soup Kitchen Christian
Then It Hit Me Something Bit Me While My Little Rod Was Fishin'
I Was Deep Sea Fishing I Took A Fat Chance
But How Was I Supposed To Know That Jabberjaws
Lived In Your Pants
At That Junction I Came To Realize
That Only Frank Purdue Likes Thighs That Size
Fatty Fatty Boom Ba Latty I Gotta Lament
That You Were Not A Girl You Were An Experiment

Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk)
You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
And I'm pretty fucking drunk
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(no subject) [Feb. 21st, 2004|08:51 pm]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

Hey fat bitches!

i have a question about boob tape... aka adhesive bras...

has anyone tried these? how well do they work? i have pretty massive boobs (size D) and i got a dress that the back is just low enough that i can't wear a bra, so i got boob tape to wear with it. i tried the dress on without a bra and it made my boobs look like a massive uniboob.. not pretty! so i'm gonna try to boob tape, but i don't want to waste it just to see how i will look in the dress.
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posting in here for the pleasure of The Tina....... [Feb. 16th, 2004|03:30 pm]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

[mood |dorky]

hey fatbitches.............I just shared a website with tina and we have fallen in love with some of their clothes. Its plus sizes that are actually IN STYLE!!! *gasp* I'm not lying. its www.bandlu.com They are awesome. Personally I'm going to buy the bare blouse and the Stella tube, and possibly the gianna tank, and the helana tank. And we all know how much you people want to be like the tina and i........so there ya go. You can now dress like us too! Most of you know about these other places, but what the hell, I'll tell you about them too. its avenue.com and torrid.com. Different styles, but hey, they are for fatbitches like us. right. so go, spend some cash, and remember...I'll take gift cards or any of the pins seen on torrid.com. Thank you and have a fat-tabulous day!
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(no subject) [Feb. 16th, 2004|12:37 pm]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

[mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[music |oh girrls just wanna have fu-un]

I think that I forgot to mention that I started going to CURVES on saturday. Its awesome. I really like it there. The ladies are all so nice, and normally I'm the youngest one there. :) Oh how I like to feel young! lol I always have so much energy when I'm done. I'm all pumped up and ready to go. I could do the rounds 4 times I think and still walk away happy. I wish they'd let us go more than once day!! I'm so excited to be going. I'm ready to not be fat. I can't wait till I can buy clothes at any store. After I'm done with the workout I jump in the tracker and put in my favorite cd. I listen to LoveShack and Girls Just wanna Have fun all the way home. I'm sure I look like a moron dancing around in my tracker all sweaty and red faced. lol, but I don't care. They sit down with you and talk about your goals, long term and short term. I put down that my short term goal is to lose 50-60 pounds by the time Jon gets home in Sept. And my long term is to lose 100pounds. I know. Its a lot, but I will do it. They told me that to actually get results I need to come in at LEAST 3 times a week. I laughed. I told them that I'm going to come in 5 times a week, if not the whole 6 times a week that I can. I'm determined. For once I know that I'm going to stick with it too. Hell, I have to, I'm paying for it!!! lol I can't wait to see the results. Even if its just a little at first. I can't wait for my clothes to start getting baggy. My goal size is a 12, but I'd be completely happy with a 14 or 16. A size 12 means I will have lost TEN sizes!!! Can you imagine?? 10 sizes. Wow. I will do it. I don't care if it takes me two years, I will do it. I WILL NOT BE FAT ANY LONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like screaming "TO WANDA!!!" hahahaha.
posted in my journal too..
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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2003|01:33 pm]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

Please keep this family in your prayers. They lost everything. A friend of mine and I are trying to get local stores to donate. Wal-mart has so far and Angie is waiting on Sams to call back and is currently on the phone with Target. JC Pennys can't donate as a store, but the manager is putting up a sign and bucket for the employees to donate out of their pockets. The baby was only 9months old that passed. I just can't imagine.

go to www.newsargus.com to read the story.

They both worked in Civil Eng. with my friends hubby and the mother was actually an augmentee when our cops needed help with manning. I'm going to call some churches back home and have them put on the prayer lists.

Oh, if you want to donate anything, our Strike Eagle Self Help shop is taking the donations. Contact me if you need a number or anything. cross posting everywhere I can. Sorry about your friends pages.
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(no subject) [Nov. 29th, 2003|07:56 pm]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

Please don't promote rating communities here. do this on your own time in your own lj.
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Weight Watchers [Nov. 13th, 2003|11:54 pm]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

[mood |determined]

So I went to my first meeting at Weight Watchers. My mom is a life time member so I just went and sat in the meeting to see what it's like. I dont feeling like paying $15 a week just to stand on a scale when I have one at home. There's no charge to just sit in on the meeting.

Now I've come to a couple conclusions after that meeting:

1) I didn't agree with half the things the lady said.
- Eat only when your hungry? Well how about if you're never hungry? I maybe hit the "hunger" moment once a day. That's it. And no I don't eat all the time. My problem is the opposite. I hardly ever eat. Maybe 2 meals a day.. this leads to a slow metabolism, which means those 2 meals stay in me and never really leave.. This is why I am big. I know this. THEREFORE, Eat in regular intervals to stay in your "point range" Eating many small meals a day helps boost your metabolism and therefore makes it easier to lose weight.

2) Some people there are real dumbass.
-No explaination is really needed there. One lady was asking what to do when it comes to having dinner parties during the holidays. Umm.. hello? It's called cooking whatever.. and just limiting yourself.. I dont think people believe there is such a thing called "self-control" ? "Willpower" ? HELLO?!?! Anyway.

3) Some people are there who really don't look like they need to be. My friend for one thing.. She's maybe half my size, and I'm not really that big anyway. My mom isnt big. And this other lady there looked pretty small.. but.. anyway.

After seeing some of the people there has made me become determined to lose 20 pounds before the wedding... Starting Saturday (I really mean this. It's my friends Bday tomorrow.. so after that).

The problem.
- I dont eat Chocolate
- I don't drink pop
- I hardly eat any candy
Usually those are three main things people cut back on when they are dieting right? WELL WHAT DO I DO? *sigh* Oh well.
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FAT SUCKS! [Nov. 13th, 2003|04:59 pm]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

[mood |bitchybitchy]

Today I ate 6 pieces of texas toast. That is NOT on the diet. I had scrambled eggs for breakfast, not a lot either, I had the same amount my almost four year old had, and then for lunch I had a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Why couldn't I stop at that?? Why'd I have to eat the toast?? If I would have had some cigarettes here, I wouldn't have ate. Either way I'm gonna die. Fat and full of cancer. ugh.
Did any of you watch Oprah today?? Holy crap did you see that womans tits??? She lost 200lbs and wore a 44 iii at one time, and her boobs are sagging so badly. Wow, that was scary. I'm afraid if I lose a lot of weight my boobs are gonna look hideous too. I mean, after she lost all that weight, her boobs sagged PAST her BELLY BUTTON!!! EW!! But I guess thats why she had the plastic surgery huh? lol ew, just gross.
I think that I'm going to have a physical done and ask about a gastric bypass. I know, its radical, and there are a lot of complications that come along, but, I have done so many diets and what not and still look like ass. Its the lazy way out of being fat, but if I could just get down to a 'normal' size, then I would have more energy and be able to go work out. I wouldn't have to worry about people looking at my gigantic ass jiggle as I did a treadmill. ugh. fat sucks.
Has anyone else thought about gasteric bypass?
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(no subject) [Nov. 8th, 2003|04:20 pm]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

[mood |depresseddepressed]

Going by BMI, I need to lose 115-125lbs to be my so called NORMAL weight. WTF. yup I'm a lard ass. Can we say lipo? gasteric bypass? stomach stapling? Yes, I do think its time to go on Atkins. I don't know if I should wait till after the holidays. Can I really spare to wait any longer?
My dad WAS right when he told me my ass was as big as a house. (even though he told me this when I was AT my normal weight.)
I'm going to die if I don't do something.
I'm 265lbs.
5ft 6in
size 22 pants
24 yrs. (25 in jan)
I smoke
I get winded running from one side of the yard to the other.

I'm going to die fat.
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denial denial denial! [Nov. 7th, 2003|09:56 am]
but we wouldn't want to put down the ice cream.

[mood |insane]

Why is it that over hallween each year I gain 5lbs??? I mean, come on, it can't be the tootsie rolls, or the snickers, or the smarties, or the caramel covered apples, or the milky ways. CAN IT? naw, couldn't be.

So I think that I'm going to start on the atkins diet after the holidays are over. we'll see how that goes.
And I VOW to not eat more than one helping of holiday foods, and take only ONE piece of desired dessert. Not a sample of all desserts. I will use some of our bonus to buy a treadmill. I love walking. But I don't have a two seater stroller, and the weather is finally starting to get icky. (we only get a rainy season with some cold, in NC) I don't want to take the boys out in the cold nastiness if I don't have too. ) So there. Thats it. This is my vow.

OH and I vow to stay out of the left over Halloween candy!!! UGH! I need a cigarette. Or a snicker bar. ;)
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